There is nothing worse than your own voice in your head saying “No!” to something. It damages our self esteem and makes us back away. How can we stop this?
Admittedly, it may save you from life and death situations, but very often, when you worry about the potential embarrassment that you may bring on yourself, it is just inhibiting you from following your dreams…
Our thoughts influence us in ways that we may not realize. They tell us when we are meant to feel good about ourselves, and conversely when we shouldn’t. They stop us from facing our fears and moving on with our lives. They often make you feel as though you are an imposter, that you shouldn’t be in the role you are in and that you will soon be found out.
Being over critical with yourself, be it about your looks, your intelligence or even in your job is alienating, but very normal. The good thing is that once you realize you are abusing yourself, you can take steps to stop it.
Be Self Aware
By being aware of your thoughts you are able to take steps to monitor your thinking and correct it. More often than not, our own worries can be about something that actually isn’t a problem – And when we face the problem head on, we realize that we spent a lot of time and energy worrying about something that was nothing.
Stop Reliving the Moment
There is nothing worse than when we have had a bad day and we run over and over the event in our heads, thinking to ourselves, I should have said or done X… What is done is done. Acknowledging this and thinking of the next course of action is the only way that we can successfully move forward.
In an article on Forbes.com, Amy Morin suggests trying to think of something different and take your mind off of it, “by going for a walk or a workout instead.”
How often have you woken up in the middle of the night worrying about something and in the light of day realizing it isn’t as bad as your waking terror from the night before. The only way to get through this is go over all of the evidence, “If you made a massive mistake at work and are worrying that everything you are doing is wrong, take a step back and think of how many times you have done this before, has this ever happened before? No. Then think to yourself, what can you do to make sure it doesn’t happen again? Then return your focus to thinking of all the times that you did something right and the praise you got for it,” suggests Career Coach, Mark Holland.
If you are always telling yourself that you can’t do something, work out the ways in which you can. If you want to present to VIPs, but worry you may make a fool of yourself, then prepare well and run through it with your boss or colleagues so that they can give you pointers. At the end of the day, your inner critic is just you doubting your abilities. Just remember, with anything, you will feel more comfortable with everything if you prepare for it – Failing to prepare is preparing to fail – You will never be able to know what you can achieve until you forge ahead, get out there and do it.
Want to think more positively? Use these 3 ways…